Monday, January 19, 2009

Sexy Back

A hot summer day in London, stripping each other naked, as we made out to Justin Timberlake's hit song. This is how I will always think of this song, even if there's spit up dribbling down my not-so-sexy back. I'm slowly reclaiming that part of my life, even if it is one five-minute-tryst-while-the-baby-is-in-her-mobile-hope-she-doesn't-remember-this event at a time.

Sex after baby requires skills that, unbeknownst to me, comes with birthing an eight pound watermelon out of your vagina. Time is always an issue: where to find it when you are both struggling to get through the day? Location is another: on the bed with laundry that hasn't been folded or on the couch with boppies, blankies, binkies and other baby paraphenalia? When those two elements are in place, what about the mood? Slow foreplay is out of the question since said baby may burst into blood curdling screams for no reason.

I usually resort to dirty talk. The whole "Get naked biotch" and rough grab at the crotch may be a less-than-elegant approach to seduction, but with five minutes left, who's gonna be picky? Certainly not Alex who is hungrily looking at my breasts which have been usurped by our child for the indefinite present. I don't understand how men can still muster up the courage to fornicate with a milk-producing, hormone-raging, post partum ticking time bomb....I'm guessing it has something to do with a deeply ingrained instinct to survive and fornicate...Is that too base? Maybe it does have something to do with the bond created by being intimate. Perhaps men aren't merely physical beings. Then again, looking at the overabundance of tits and ass on TV and film, there is a strong case for the biological need scenario.

However, I will make the case for my dear fiance. He is not the typical drone hubbie who looks at porn and gets stimulated by the fake-and-bake look so rampant in L.A. and NY. He is one of the few good men who really does care a rat's ass about intellect and personality, who actually looks at a woman's face when he speaks to her, who actually cares whether or not she can carry on a conversation without using the words 'like', 'um', and 'whatever' as verbal resting points.

I will say that things are looking up, largely due to the fact that Alex is as patient as they come. Even though we aren't having sexual escapades on the couch with JT as our amorous soundtrack, we are still drawn to each other, regardless of whether or not we can prepare a perfect moment. In fact, I find that what we have now is refreshing. There is no need with frivolities, just a need for each other. And that, in and of itself, makes it perfect.

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